The Emotional Labor of Recruiting

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This Week’s Breakdown

There’s a part of this job that never shows up in job descriptions, conference agendas, or whatever “AI will replace recruiters by Q3” post is going viral this week.

It’s the emotional labor.
And it is relentless.

Recruiting is one of the only roles where you’re holding the emotional weight for every single person in the process and yet the outside world still thinks you’re just “sending calendar invites” and “looking at resumes.”

I’ve been thinking a lot about this recently as I’ve taken on a few new projects and also felt myself snapping a bit more at some people online.

Recruiters are therapists wearing corporate badges.

And then we're somehow responsible for holding all of it without letting any of it leak into the process.

Some examples you already know too well:

• Candidates trauma dumping because we’re the first human they’ve talked to in months.

• Hiring managers melting down because they’re behind on a project and “just need someone in the seat now.”

• Executives venting about the business strategy mid search

• Candidates crying when we deliver news, good or bad.

• Managers sending slack messages we hope never show up in discovery

We carry all of it.

We absorb it, organize it, soften it, redirect it, and still try to run a fair, efficient, professional process on top of it.

And somehow, while we’re juggling the emotional weight of an entire company and an entire candidate pipeline, the internet still confidently calls us parasites.

This job is emotional work. Real emotional work. And the fact that you’re still here, still showing up, still taking calls, still coaching, still balancing everyone else’s storms, that’s a skill. A real one. One AI will never replace.

Heading into the holiday seasons, hiring freezes, Q1 plans, and everything else, be proud of the work you do. Protect your energy and stop letting people who’ve never done this job tell you how easy it is!

Recruited in the Wild

Seen on LinkedIn, overheard in Slack, or posted without shame.

Stop Talking About Salary On Job Interviews

Just the latest banger from a recruiter making posts that I truly don’t understand the point of. I read this one about 14 times trying to make sure I understood, and the best I could come up with was one of these 2 options:

1. This 3rd party recruiter forgot to tell us they always tell the candidate the salary in advance so there is no need for them to bring it up in the interview unless asked about it (I would agree here, but I doubt she forgot to mention that part)

2. The algorithm wasn’t going well and this recruiter decided to make this post instead of a post about swapping genders like everyone else was doing.

This post falls under the category of there is no reason to make it, obviously the poster didn’t expect the backlash which is why they turned comments off, but as I say over and over again here…you don’t have to make the post!

Accrued Time

A weekly check-in on what I’ve got going on behind the scenes, events, projects, and life outside the req pile.

New Episode of Is This Still A Good Time with one of my favorite recruiters Richie Lampani Check it out here!

I also have been working on a fun new merch shop that I will have some info on in an issue soon. It would be a little project where I don’t make a profit, but do get asked about a lot of the shirts or mugs or things I make for myself and thought maybe they should be available for everyone.

Sneak Peek:

Cope of the Week

Because it’s either this or scream into a pillow.

If this week’s Breakdown hit a little too close to home, that’s because you’re probably carrying the emotional weight of 50 people right now and pretending it’s normal.

So here’s your reminder:

You’re not tired because you’re weak.
You’re tired because this job demands a level of emotional regulation most people couldn’t maintain for one interview cycle.

While candidates are unloading months of job-search trauma…
While hiring managers are panic-Slacking you at 9PM…
While executives are spiraling about Q1 headcount…
While random LinkedIn strangers are telling you you’re doing everything wrong…

You’re the one absorbing it all, smoothing it over, translating it, sanitizing it, and delivering it back in a way that won’t get anyone fired.

That’s expertise.
Invisible, uncredited, taken-for-granted expertise.

So this week’s cope is simple:

• Don’t take on emotional work that doesn’t belong to you.

• Let some things fall where they may, even if you could fix them.

•  And stop letting people who’ve never carried this emotional load tell you how “easy” your job should be.

Recruiters are often the emotional infrastructure of a company’s hiring process.
Even if nobody else will admit it

You’re absolutely allowed to stop reading posts from people who turn off comments because even they know what they wrote was nonsense.

Rest where you can this week, take the time off where you get it.

Q1 chaos and circle back season is coming, save a little fuel for it.

 Forward this to someone in TA who's barely holding it together.

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