You Can Not Lose If You Do Not Play

Before I get started, did you know I wrote a book? Like an honest to goodness real book?

It’s aimed at jobseekers, but I think even recruiters should read it. If you like the way I talk about things, you know I talk about jobsearching in a manner different than most books out there.

The book is set to be released in August (though the date keeps getting moved) and I’d love to email you when it’s available?

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This Week’s Breakdown

I didn’t think that by week 4 I’d already be rehashing certain topics, but I think that may actually be what this newsletter needs. After all, it’s not about teaching you how to recruit better (you know how to do your job despite what the internet says). This newsletter is about coping together and sometimes hearing what you may already be thinking but needed to hear someone else say.

So for this week let’s focus again on what it’s like out there for a recruiter in the real world and remind you that

You Can Not Lose, If You Do Not Play

Because every week, some viral hot take is going to roll across your feed trying to bait you into a fight.

💥 “Recruiters should be replaced by AI.” (this one got me last week)
💥 “You didn’t get the job because your resume doesn’t have a zip code .” (this one got me last week too…ok I have a problem)
💥 “HOW DARE RECRUITERS EMAIL ME ON WEEKENDS” (I saw this one get a lot of you this week)

And we? We take the bait. Every time.

(Well not me this time, I sat one out and it felt great!)

We act like we're gonna change their mind.
We act like logic is gonna win hearts.
We act like we’re not just becoming content for someone’s viral hate farming machine.

And you can feel it, too. That little recruiter rage bubbling up.
Time to reply. Time to quote tweet. Time to… burn out.

But Marla Daniels was right.

The most powerful thing you can do sometimes is not play.
Not comment.
Not explain your value for the 47th time.
Not engage with someone who isn’t here in good faith.

Because this job is already hard.
We already work inside systems that are struggling, rushed, and underfunded.

You don’t have to fight on every post to prove your worth.
Save that energy for candidates, hiring managers, and your actual damn job.

Because that’s how we win.

Recruited in the Wild

Seen on LinkedIn, overheard in Slack, or posted without shame.

A LinkedIn post about rejection emails being sent on weekends turned into a full-on Baltimore-style turf war. I’m curious to hear your thoughts, so be sure to vote in the poll!

What started as (yet another!) take about how soul-crushing it can be to get a rejection email during your one moment of weekend peace became an absolute free-for-all.

I hesitate to share the link because I don’t want to specifically call out the poster or anyone involved, so please visit this post responsibly as it’s a few days old and not in need of more gasoline.

But this kind of stuff is par for the course on LinkedIn and I think it’s important to see how fast things can spiral and how many ways it can go wrong.

You had:

• Recruiters trying to explain to a group not looking for an explanation

• Job seekers accusing recruiters of gaslighting.

• debates over specific meanings of words like ghosting and disposition

• A fastball metaphor that still doesn’t quite track.

  (Like I would just not throw a fastball at you because there is no benefit to doing so. This argument is actually saying recruiters should just never send rejection emails if you play it out)

• And offers to review resumes out of pure spite!

It was the algorithm’s favorite kind of chaos: messy, emotional, and totally unproductive.

And that’s the real point here.

So many of these comment section clashes come from a real place of frustration, grief, burnout, or fear. But the moment we try to “win” the thread, we’ve already lost.

Every recruiter I know is exhausted. Every job seeker I talk to is depleted. And when those two camps show up to LinkedIn with their armor on, nobody’s listening, they’re just waiting for their turn to swing.

This is why I remind you again: You Can Not Lose If You Do Not Play.

Not every fight is yours. Not every post needs your counterpoint. Not every bait deserves your bite.

Sometimes the most strategic thing you can do… is close the tab.

Horror Stories

True recruiting nightmares from the field.
Want to share yours anonymously for a future issue? 

Submit your story Here 

I love that today’s submission started with the line:

Sometimes the horror story doesn’t come from the candidate...

Because…I mean…

I’ve been hurt by more internal managers than candidates and it’s not even close… Ok here we go:

I always brace myself for chaos during interviews, but I didn’t expect one of my toughest recruiting experiences to come from inside the company. I was supporting a hiring manager on two internal promotions for supervisor roles. She sent an email with the names of the selected employees, my manager was CC’d, and he confirmed that I’d be handling the requisitions. Based on that, and a verbal green light from my manager, I reached out to one of the candidates to share the great news. How exciting, right? Fast-forward a few days: I get pulled into a call with the hiring manager. No context. No agenda. I assumed it was a quick update. Nope. It turned into a live escalation with her team silently on the call, where I was essentially called out for sharing the news “too early”, even though nothing in the original email indicated she wanted to notify the candidates first, or that they were under any kind of trial period. I was totally blindsided. I tried to explain what I understood from the message, but I was interrupted mid-sentence and didn’t get the chance to finish a full thought. I kept it respectful, but honestly, I was overwhelmed. One of my peers who was filling in for my manager, helped stabilize the conversation and redirect us toward next steps. But the emotional hit lingered, especially because I wasn’t trying to cut corners. I was following what I thought was a clear, approved process. Obviously, there’s lessons learned from the situation, but still, it was tough. These “horror stories” don’t always come from wild candidate behavior, random interviews, declined job offers and ghosted candidates. Sometimes they come from within the org, and sometimes those are the ones that sting the most

They are definitely the ones that sting the most. I hear this story and immediately spot the red flags of an ego driven manager who wanted to share this news themselves and is mad they didn’t get to despite not saying such. Sure, as a recruiter, we probably should clear with the manager how the news will be delivered. But honestly who cares?

To call a meeting like this is such an ego driven move and for no other reason than to try to embarrass the recruiter, not to help any part of the situation.

Cope of the Week

Because it’s either this or scream into a pillow.

This week’s cope isn’t a joke or a meme.

It’s a deep breath I’ve taken about 17 times in the last 3 days.

Because every time I scroll past another recruiter-bashing thread or watch a viral post about how “we should all be replaced by AI,” I feel that heat rise up.

You know the one.

The part of me that wants to jump in and say:

“That’s not how it works.”
“You’re misrepresenting what we do.”
“You clearly don’t understand how hiring actually happens.”

But instead of saying this:

I just closed the tab.

Because I remembered that LinkedIn is not real life.

I’ve never once convinced someone to rethink their take in a comment section.
But I have helped a hiring manager shift their process through a real conversation.
I’ve coached a candidate through rejection with actual empathy.

That’s where I want my energy to go.

So if you’ve been feeling the itch to fight every bad take…

Don’t.

You’re not obligated to explain your worth to strangers on the internet.
You’re not lazy for walking away.
You’re not weak for choosing your peace.

You’re just smart enough to know that sometimes, the most professional thing you can do is log off.

Close the tab. Save your battery. We’ve got real work to do.

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